《一生何求》

香港的廣東流行曲萌芽於70年代，於80及90年代開花結果。80年代的本地樂壇，無論歌手，作曲家或填詞人都是人材輩出。陳百強就是80年代那星光熠熠的螢幕上，其中一顆最光芒四射的明星。

出生於小康之家的陳百強於1979年推出首張個人專輯，憑專輯中《眼淚為你流》一曲在香港樂壇迅速竄紅。80年代的香港樂壇深受日本影響，很多歌都是改編自日本流行曲，但陳百強卻喜愛把中式小調注入廣東歌中，由他自己作曲的《眼淚為你流》、《偏偏喜歡你》更是這方面的代表作。[1]他不但有作曲的天分，更懂彈琴。青春電影《失業生》中有一幕，就是他在中環置地廣場自彈自唱《有了你》，餘音繞樑，至今仍令人陶醉。

陳百強才華橫溢，出道後星運非常順利。1983年，才25歲的陳百強便於剛落成的紅磡體育館舉行個人演唱會。1985年的演唱會上，陳百強一改一貫斯文作風，模仿美國歌手Prince的前衛造型演出，引來部分歌迷的嚴厲批評，他亦因而經歷過短暫低潮，但之後再戰江湖，仍深受樂迷愛載。這位被歌迷暱稱Danny仔的歌手，不但在香港走紅，人氣更傳至韓國及日本。1988年的漢城奧運邀請陳百強擔任開幕禮表演嘉賓。1989年，他憑著《偏偏喜歡你》贏得東京音樂節TBS大獎。

只活了35年的耀目明星

陳百強紅遍整個80年代，得到無數歌迷影迷的寵愛，白馬王子的形象更令千萬少女傾倒。若要選出80年代香港樂壇最炙手可熱的歌手，陳百強必穩坐一席。陳百強事業如日中天，但成功背後卻不時傳出多愁善感的他，情緒經常跌進低谷。陳家瑛於1986年後出任陳百強的經理人，她說，陳百強基本上不是一個開心的人。[2]在接受澳洲電視台的訪問時，陳百強更親口指出，在香港這個細少地方當藝人要承受失去私隱的壓力，並說當他逛尖沙嘴時會被途人指指點點。[3]

與他情同姊弟的陳家瑛指出，陳百強在80年代中期開始發覺自己的創作力大不如前，卻感受到來自四位新人(即後來的四大天王)的威脅，怕有一日自己的王者地位不保，不安情緒就更明顯。陳百強急流勇退，於1991年宣布會暫別樂壇，但等不到開告別演唱會，他於翌年5月便懷疑因飲酒加上服用過量藥物而昏迷入院。一代巨星在病床沉睡年半後，最終仍是回天乏術，於1993年的秋天離世。

一顆耀目明星，在塵世只短短活了35年。在他短暫的生命中，卻留下眾多膾炙一時的金曲。《眼淚為你流》、《幾分鐘的約會》、《喝采》、《漣漪》、《相思河畔》、《戀愛預告》、《等》、《有了你》、《念親恩》、《偏偏喜歡你》、《深愛著你》、《當我想起你》、《今宵多珍重》、《凝望》、《一生何求》等當年街知巷聞、家傳戶曉的名曲，今日仍舊不斷被翻唱。一代巨星舞台上的風采，在他逝去30年後仍被人緬懷。

在東南亞華埠大街小巷無人不識

在Danny的金曲裡，《一生何求》這首80年代末的經典特別令人感慨。1989年，無線電視選用多位當紅演員，傾力製作長篇劇集《義不容情》，一播出就成為城中話題，創下當年最高收視率的佳績，堪稱神劇。在馬來西亞取景的《義不容情》不但在香港，在東南亞華人社區同樣大獲好評，由陳百強演繹的劇集主題曲《一生何求》亦因此紅遍東南亞，在當地華埠的大街小巷無人不識。這曲囊括當年各大頒獎禮獎項，包括獲選「港台十大中文金曲」和「十大勁歌金曲」，把陳百強的演藝事業再次推向高峰。站在巔峰的他不會想到，他在世上的一齊榮華會於三年後與他的生命一起消失，歌中的兩句「沒料到我所失的，竟已是我的所有」亦成為陳百強人生的最佳寫照。

《一生何求》由潘偉源填詞[4]，歌詞追問人生所求，富有詩意。由常流露幾分憂鬱的陳百強唱出，令歌曲更有感染力。80年代的中文歌曲，仍未演變到通俗化的路線，遣詞用字大多優雅，當中不少更帶點古樸味道。事實上，有人認為香港文學創作在戰後可分兩大主流，一為武俠小說，其次為80年代前後的歌詞創作[5]。筆者不怕獻醜，大膽把《一生何求》翻譯成英語，練習英漢翻譯之餘，亦希望讓更多不諳中文的人感受到中文歌豐富的精神世界。

 

一生何求 冷暖那可休 回頭多少個秋 尋遍了卻偏失去 未盼卻在手 我得到沒有 沒法解釋得失錯漏 剛剛聽到望到 便更改 不知那裡追究    一生何求 常判決放棄與擁有 耗盡我這一生 觸不到已跑開 一生何求 迷惘裡永遠看不透 沒料到我所失的 竟已是我的所有    一生何求 曾妥協也試過苦鬥 夢內每點繽紛 一消散那可收 一生何求 誰計較讚美與詛咒 沒料到我所失的 竟已是我的所有 一生何求 常判決放棄與擁有 耗盡我這一生 觸不到已跑開 一生何求 迷惘裡永遠看不透 沒料到我所失的 竟已是我的所有

What am I looking for?   Years elapse with the incessant cycles of cold and warm seasons. When I look back, many autumns have already slipped away. In my life, what I’ve been looking for escaped me, but what I didn’t expect came to me. Did I get what I want? And how could I explain all those gains and losses, mistakes and errors in life? I heard it, I saw it, I lost it. Who should I ask to explicate all of these? Do I really know what I’m looking for in my life, which is a continuous process of disowning and owning? When I have spent my whole life on the search, the things I longed for escaped from my grasp. Do I know what I’m looking for in my life? I will never know the answer among all the confusion and puzzles in life. What I can’t believe is that what I’ve lost in the chase are all the things that are dear to me.   Do I know what I’m looking for in my life? In chasing my dream, I have made arduous efforts and numerous compromises. But, at the moment of waking up, I can’t keep anything from the colourful dream. Do I know what I’m looking for in my life? No one cares about other people’s praises and curses. What I can’t believe is that what I’ve lost in the chase are all the things that are dear to me.   Do I really know what I’m looking for in my life, which is a continuous process of disowning and owning? When I have spent my whole life on the search, the things that I longed for escaped from my grasp. Do I know what I’m looking for in my life? I will never know the answer among all the confusion and puzzles in life. What I can’t believe is that what I’ve lost in the chase are all the things that are dear to me.

再聽已是曲中人

當年，筆者每日回家必追看《義不容情》，愛屋及烏，同樣喜歡上劇集主題曲《一生何求》。此歌旋律優美，歌詞帶領人追問一生的所求，人生的意義。筆者初聽此歌時仍然年少，對歌詞似懂非懂，其後每隔一段日子再聽，卻每每有更深體會。有些歌，像《一生何求》，百聽不厭，經久不衰，可以伴人一生，並且是當人愈老，就愈聽出共鳴，愈能回味個中神韻。直至有一天，當你聽歌時不自覺地哼起歌詞，想起順逆離合，成敗得失，心中泛起「初聞不知曲中意，再聽已是曲中人」的感觸時，人生已經進入另一境界。

 《一生何求》 ：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgECnV15V6M

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[1]     【陳百強60歲冥壽】改寫廣東歌創作元素  中西合璧成就個人風格

^{https://www.hk01.com/%E7%9C%BE%E6%A8%82%E8%BF%B7/232368/%E9%99%B3%E7%99%BE%E5%BC%B760%E6%AD%B2%E5%86%A5%E5%A3%BD-%E6%94%B9%E5%AF%AB%E5%BB%A3%E6%9D%B1%E6%AD%8C%E5%89%B5%E4%BD%9C%E5%85%83%E7%B4%A0-%E4%B8%AD%E8%A5%BF%E5%90%88%E7%92%A7%E6%88%90%E5%B0%B1%E5%80%8B%E4%BA%BA%E9%A2%A8%E6%A0%BC}    

[2]   余燕儀，“陳百強60冥誕經理人陳家瑛採訪文字”。 https://www.bilibili.com/read/cv8344227/

[3]   Jeffrey James interviews Asian Superstar Danny Chan (1989), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ijEb2Ge6qI&t=233s

[4]   香港電視劇《義不容情》的主題曲《一生何求》，改編自由台灣音樂人王文清作曲填詞，由王傑唱的《惦記這一些》。該劇集的插曲《幾分傷心幾分癡》，亦是由王傑的《一場遊戲一場夢》改編，並由王傑演唱，當年同樣風靡一時。

[5]   楊興安，“填詞人文學成就：八十年代歌樂輝煌” 2019年10月7日，《信報財經月刊》 https://monthly.hkej.com/monthly/article/id/2269470/%E5%A1%AB%E8%A9%9E%E4%BA%BA%E6%96%87%E5%AD%B8%E6%88%90%E5%B0%B1%EF%BC%9A%E5%85%AB%E5%8D%81%E5%B9%B4%E4%BB%A3%E6%AD%8C%E6%A8%82%E8%BC%9D%E7%85%8C

讀張文光《旅行，不斷的相遇與追尋》

這本絕非一般坊間的旅遊書，沒有景點介紹，也不談吃喝玩樂。這書記下的，是張文光踏遍千山萬水後的心路歷程。沿途，他不斷與歷史和人物相遇，追尋旅行和人生的真義。

旅遊與歷史相遇

文光藉旅遊走進平行時空，重回歷史原點：今天的景物仍凝住了往昔歷史，既觸景，又傷歷史情。人文景點猶如一扇窗口，通往歷史的傷口，引發無盡政治、宗教、經濟和文化的歷史回憶和心靈追尋，帶著一份沉重的歷史感。

文光借旅遊說近代史，追思當中的人和事。他一語中的：「旅行更是孤獨思考的時光旅行，也是認真讀書的時光。」景物其次，尊重歷史和善良人民才最重要。旅行可以結合書旅和歷史反思。

文光筆訴每一景背後故事，更把故事與歷史的大圖畫連結起來。景物曾是歷史舞台， 激盪歷史人文思考。人豈能不被歷史洪流所影響？景色美麗，但背後歷史人和事，才教人唏噓感嘆，低迴不已：「讓記憶塗上了愛和思念。」是的，思的是當年歷史之情，念的是無數無辜的百姓。

胸懷世界惦人民

            地球村一家，不分遠近你我，一景一物皆見證了歷史演進的軌跡和滄桑，一幕幕史實重現眼前：文光去仰光尋找昂山素姬，在柏林萬湖懷想二戰中被屠殺猶太人，身處柏林圍牆遺跡追思自由魂，在金邊隱約還聽到當年的炮火聲，南韓五月光州事件的那篇，時光倒流至1960年，走過泰國桂河橋、柬埔寨吳哥窟、日本的馬關。聽歷史長嘆低迴，觀朝代政權此起彼落，更替循環……。

文光在台灣綠島，還感受到當年的白色恐怖。在金門仍深深體會兩岸當年「光復大陸」和「解放台灣」的矛盾。載滿了鄉愁的澎湖灣，原來是古戰場。在台北火車站，文光勾起二二八事件之痛，多年後歷史重複，高雄的「叛逆」，演變成美麗島事件這歷史悲劇 。 

宏觀國際視野外，文光沒有忽略微觀的家人情。倫敦公園許多長椅，刻上逝去親人的名字，情都刻在人心裡。因政治原因，父親離去多年後，才能回家鄉台山，追尋慈父當年足跡，父親的叮嚀和祝福再在耳邊響起，人生，人生，唯情而已。

心繫人家情寄國

文光心懷世界，情繫人物、不論對哪個國家、民族，都展現博愛精神。這書很張文光，流露凜然正氣、富濃濃人道主義，具厚厚人文精神。通過文光的筆觸，一一展現出景物、人物與歷史的立體維度。

               你的旅路又可有啟發你的歷史心路追尋，走入歷史的追思尋索？我想這才是深度旅遊。

伸延閱讀

今年暑假，香港書展的約會

https://www.hkptu.org/ptunews/60036

香港書展2019：張文光《旅行，不斷的相遇與追尋》新書分享會

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7mAh0pkINM&ab_channel=%E9%A6%99%E6%B8%AF%E8%B2%BF%E7%99%BC%E5%B1%80

張文光：旅行，不斷的相遇與追尋

https://www.master-insight.com/%E5%BC%B5%E6%96%87%E5%85%89%EF%BC%9A%E6%97%85%E8%A1%8C%EF%BC%8C%E4%B8%8D%E6%96%B7%E7%9A%84%E7%9B%B8%E9%81%87%E8%88%87%E8%BF%BD%E5%B0%8B/

第一才子話平生：讀錢鍾書傳

常言道：文無第一，武無第二。文壇上難有公認第一，武術界卻非要分出第一不可。話雖如此，假如要在二十世紀的中國選出第一才子，錢鍾書大概可以高票當選。

第一才子

我第一次讀錢鍾書，是中學時中國語文科的選文《讀《伊索寓言》》。 三十多年後，還記得當年的驚嘆，原來給孩子看的寓言故事可以如此讀法。如今人到中年，有了點閲歷，重看這篇文章時，更佩服他對人性的洞察。我算不上“錢迷”，但總想對這位高人的生平和學問，有多一點的認識，可惜他的學問博大精深，除了《寫在人生邊上》、《圍城》和《人、獸、鬼》比較容易看懂之外，大部分著作都是用文言文書寫，並旁徵博引英、法、德、拉丁文等歐洲諸國文字。沒有相當的文史訓練，簡直無從入門。

至於他的生平，我從個別的回憶文字得個片段式的印象，但至今還沒有看過一本完整的傳記，楊絳的《我們仨》也只是集中他的某些片段。所以那天在書店發現了湯晏的《被壓抑的天才：錢鍾書與現代中國》，便毫不猶豫地買了。

錢老生平

錢鍾書，江西無錫人，生於1910年。周嵗時“抓周”，抓到一本書，祖父和父親非常高興，所以按鍾字輩把他命名為鍾書。童年時，父親見他經常快言快語，所以給他的字為“默存”，出自《周易繫辭》的“默而成之，不言而信，存乎德行”。

錢氏是無錫的望族，歷史追溯到五代十國。錢鍾書生於書香世家，父親錢基博研究傳統國學，有《中國現代文學史》傳世，其餘的家族成員中、學者、秀才也不少，錢基博與史學大師錢穆同輩，所以自小錢鍾書在耳濡目染下，加上其天資敏悟，20歲未到就在國學打下根基。有次錢穆寫了《國學概論》，請錢基博寫序言，錢基博叫錢鍾書代筆，那時錢鍾書不到20歲，但用文言文的序言，寫得頭頭是道，並對書中個別内容有所批評，錢穆未有察覺，還表示謝意。

錢鍾書在19歲考入清華大學，盛傳他數學得零分，按規定不能被取錄，但他的中英文成績非常優異，所以校長羅家倫破格取錄他，因此他入校時已經名滿全校，有清華才子之稱。

畢業後在上海光華大學擔任英文講師，1935年參加庚款公費留學的考試，以破紀錄的高分名列榜首，同年與新婚不久妻子楊絳負笈英國，入讀牛津大學，兩年後獲得B Litt學位，畢業論文探討十七、十八世紀英國文學裏的中國。

其後往巴黎遊學一年，1938年回國，當時抗日戰爭已經開始，他途經香港，前往昆明的西南聯大任教，之後輾轉在湖南、上海等地任教。散文集《寫在人生邊上》的大部分文章是抗戰期間寫成的。抗戰勝利後翌年，《圍城》在《文藝復興》月刊連載，1947年出版。1958年出版《宋詩選注》，1960年代曾下放河南羅山的五七幹校。

改革開放之後，他曾出國訪問歐洲、美國和日本的學界，舌戰群儒，妙語如珠，震驚當時學界。有人説，中國有三寶：故宮、長城和錢鍾書，雖然有點誇張，但也反映外界對他評價之高。可惜他年事已高，所以1980年代初之後，就再沒有出訪外國。他1998年離世，享年88。

傳記精彩

以上是《被壓抑的天才》的大致内容，我認為這是一本精彩的傳記，所以我一拿起書，就幾乎不能停下，結果接近500頁的書，一個多星期就看完了。

首先是充滿趣味，本來學者文人的生活比較平淡，但作者卻把他的生平結合動蕩的時代，並添加不少軼事及相關背景，如此一代才子躍然紙上。特別是留歐期間的數年，真是才子佳人在洞天福地的神仙生活，實在叫人響往。至於抗戰期間四處走難的經歷，過程曲折，後來就化成《圍城》的部分情節。

其次，這書的考據非常嚴謹，全書共14章，每章的注釋至少數頁，有的多達超過10頁，反映湯晏的嚴格歷史學訓練。書中內容均有根有據。對比之下，坊間很多講述錢鍾書的著作只是以訛傳訛。最難得的是，作者認識錢鍾書本人，他們是在1979年錢鍾書在哥倫比亞大學訪問時認識的，其時湯晏還是年輕的研究生，之後他們成爲忘年之交，經常有書信往來，對於錢鍾書的生平，他掌握第一手資料，足以澄清不少傳聞。

在嚴謹考據，排列史實之餘，湯晏也對錢鍾書作出中肯評論，并非只有一面倒的歌功頌德。書名《被壓抑的天才》正表達他對錢鍾書一生評語：他的才華在亂世中未能發揮，非常可惜，特別是1950年代之後，他基本上放棄了文學創作，沒有寫出可以比美《圍城》的小説，而是閉門讀書，鑽研古代經典，用深奧的文言文，寫了卷帙浩繁的《管錐篇》，像清朝學者在文字獄的陰霾下，爲了避禍，而從事繁瑣的考據學。這雖讓他安然度過風暴，但卻是讀者之失。

一點管見

最後，如果湯晏能多介紹錢鍾書的學問，那就更爲完美了。相信很多讀者和我一樣，對錢鍾書的生平認識得越多，就越想進一步知道，但苦無力閲讀原著，如果作者可以用淺白通俗的話，講述他一些精闢見解，讀者將會更加得益，但儘管如此，我仍大力推薦這佳作。

詩意 畫情

留聲機

人生匆匆數十載，
有什麼建樹？
有什麼留芳？
就讓留聲機記下片言隻語，
幾度悲喜?
幾度嘆喟?
我的嘆喟未必是你的喜愛，
你的悲喜未必是我的珍藏。
但這留聲有過它的真實存在，
就如孤雁曾經劃過時空。
我不否認你，
你也不能否認我。

時間、生命、金錢

時間是唯一恆久的存在，

它比一切生命長久，
比一切金錢繁多。
只有傻子擁抱金錢，
只有癡人挽留生命。
時鐘壞了，時間仍然溜走。
在你追悔時間溜走的時候，
時間又溜走了一分鐘。

骷髏 殘花

他，璀璨過，
三十萬雄師
曾在他麾下
她，美麗過，
傾國傾城，
萬千寵愛，
如今化作白骨。
花開有時，
花謝有時，
霸業有時盡，
朱顏無永存。

Songs that make me reflect on life

Some songs are simply meant to be enjoyed. But as a music and book lover, I have a liking for songs that are not only listening for joys, but also for inspiration about life. Japanese culture is fascinating to me in many aspects, and Japanese popular music is certainly one of the sources for inspiration. Here I have handpicked three of my favorites, which enlightened me in recent months, to share with you. They are listed in no particular order. 

大きな古時計 

The first one I want to share with you is a song sung by Ken Hirai (平井堅). It is actually a very old American folk song. The name of the original song is Grandfather’s Clock which was composed by Henry Clay Work in 1876. It is said that Work wrote the song based on a story he heard when he visited north Yorkshire in England. The poetic lyrics are about a stand-up clock which was bought on the day when the grandfather of the song’s narrator was born. The faithful clock worked for 90 years nonstop to serve its owner until he died. The clock was not only faithful, it knew the important moments of its owner. The lyrics write: 

Many hours had he spent while a boy;

And in childhood and manhood the clock seemed to know

And to share both his grief and his joy,

For it struck 24 when he entered at the door

With a blooming and beautiful bride;

But it stopped short — never to go again —

When the old man died. 

The song became very popular after it was released in the US in 1876. Various versions of the song in different languages were made and became famous in other countries too. In Japan, the song was translated into a Japanese children song in 1940s. In 1962, Kogo Hotomi’s version of the song was sung in the NHK TV program "みんなのうた" (People’s Songs), which significantly boosted its popularity among Japanese. Kogo’s version, in which the clock worked for 100 years instead of 90 years, became one of the most well-received American songs to many generations of Japanese people. 

In 2002, singer Ken Hirai gave a moving rendition of the song, not only making the song a big hit in Japan again but also cementing his position as a leading male singer in Japan. Hirai’s record “大きな古時計” topped the Oricon Chart for 4 consecutive weeks after its release, the first time that a song that debuted 100 years ago topped the chart. Most Hong Kong people got to know Hirai because he sang the theme song "雙眼閉起" (Close Your Eyes) of the movie "世界中心呼喚愛" (Screaming for Love in the Centre of the World) broadcast in 2004. But to me, “大きな古時計” is the song that really attracts me to his singing style. Listening to his song transports me to the distant past. So let’s enjoy the song now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0vSH2VW-tk

手紙 〜拝啓 十五の君へ〜 

The second Japanese song I want to talk about is “手紙 〜拝啓 十五の君へ〜” (Letter: Greetings to a 15-Year-Old) composed by Angela Aki. Aki's blockbuster song actually is a letter the song’s narrator wrote at the age of 15 to her future self. Adolescence is an age of turbulence: a period when we start to think about who we are, what we can do, and how we should face the first wave of life’s uncertainties. Feeling insecure, the narrator tried to talk to her future self as a way to gain a sense of safety, as herself is the only one she felt comfortable to confide in. She wrote: 

拝啓 この手紙読んでいるあなたは

どこで何をしているのだろう

十五の僕には誰にも話せない

悩みの種があるのです 

未来の自分に宛てて書く手紙なら

きっと素直に打ち明けられるだろう 

今 負けそうで 泣きそうで 消えてしまいそうな僕は

誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの? 

Dear, when you are reading this letter, where are you and what are you doing? 

I am a 15-year-old now and I have puzzles that I can't talk to anyone 

But if it’s a letter to my future self 

I can speak frankly to her 

I'm about to lose, I'm about to cry, 

I'm about to disappear 

Whose words should I believe in when going forward? 

On receiving the letter, the grown-up narrator replied to her adolescent counterpart: 

拝啓 ありがとう

十五のあなたに 伝えたい事があるのです

自分とは何でどこへ向かうべきか

問い続ければ見えてくる 

荒れた青春の海は厳しいけれど

明日の岸辺へと 夢の舟よ進め 

今負けないで 泣かないで 

消えてしまいそうな時は

自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの 

My dear, thank you for your letter 

I have something to tell the 15-year-old you. 

Who am I, why and where to go? 

As long as you ask yourself these questions, you can find the answers 

Although youth is like a rough and stormy sea, let's take the ship of hope and head towards the shore of tomorrow 

Don't give up and don’t cry now. 

Whenever you feel you are going to disappear, just believe in your voice and move forward bravely 

First released in 2008, the song was written by Angela Aki on her 30th birthday. Born to an Italian American mother and a Japanese father, Aki has a distinctively western complexion and is known as a talented musician among Japanese artists. Aki moved to Hawaii to attend high school when she was 15 years old and obtained a bachelor’s degree in political science in George Washington University. After graduation, she worked as a secretary in Washington, D.C. but could not give up her dream of becoming a singer. In the US, she once worked as a waitress at daytime, and sang songs at night at a nightclub where she was occasionally teased by club-goers. After attending a concert in Nippon Budokan Hall (日本武道館) in 2003, Aki said to herself she would perform at the same place within three years. In December 2006, she made history by holding a concert in Budokan. In 2014, Aki quit all her singing jobs in Japan and moved to the US to study music for her long-cherished dream of developing her career in Broadway. 

Aki’s soul-searching song was rearranged as the theme song for the Japanese movie “くちびるに歌を” which was released in 2015. In it, protagonist Aragaki Yui (新垣結衣) taught a group seconding school graduating students to sing the song “手紙 〜拝啓 十五の君へ〜”. Since then, it has become a song often sung as a farewell note during elementary and junior high school graduation ceremonies. Here is the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siQJhIp-UTU

不協和音 

The third song I want to talk about is 欅坂46’s 不協和音. Now renamed as Sakurazaka-46 (櫻坂46), Keyakizaka-46 (欅坂46) is one of the most successful Japanese idol girl groups in the past decade in Japan. I learned about this song from the young Hong Kong democracy fighter Agnes Chow. She said when she was arrested by Hong Kong police in August this year, Keyakizaka-46’s 不協和音 kept resounding in her head. Agnes Chow has a lot of fans in Japan. Her arrest caused a lot of attention in the country. 

The Japanese words不協和音 mean discordance or dissonance in English. The song was included in the fourth record released by Keyakizaka-46 in 2017. The lyrics reveal the narrator’s insistence on justice, as well as her dislike of blind obedience to a society where everyone has to behave the same. The lyrics go like these: 

僕はyes と言わない

絶対 沈黙しない

最後の最後まで抵抗し続ける

叫びを押し殺す (oh! oh! oh!)

見えない壁ができてた (oh! oh!) 

…. 

君はyes と言うのか 

プライドさえも捨てるか 

反論することに何を怯えるんだ? 

大きなその力で (oh! oh! oh!) 

ねじ伏せられた怒りよ (oh! oh!) 

見て見ぬ振りしなきゃ仲間外れか 

真実の声も届くって信じていたよ 

Oh! oh! 僕は嫌だ 

I won't say yes 

Never be silent 

Will continue to resist until the very end 

The cry that is suppressed in my heart (oh! Oh! Oh!) 

Has built an invisible wall (oh! Oh!) 

…. 

Will you say yes 

Even abandon your pride 

What are you scared of refuting? 

That great power (oh! Oh! Oh!) 

Suppressed and made people angry (oh! Oh!) 

Will I be isolated if I don’t pretend not seeing it, 

I believed that the true voice would reach out 

Oh! oh! I hate it 

Girl idol groups like Keyakizaka-46 (欅坂46) is a unique Japanese cultural product. These idol groups usually consist of teenage girls or girls in their early 20s, members of the groups dress in same uniform and have similar hairstyles. The uniform, the large number of group members and the sometimes indistinguishable faces of the members cause people think that they are symbols of Japanese collectivism. But interestingly, listening to Keyakizaka-46’s不協和音or its other song “沉默的多數” is empowering. It encourages people to speak up and get their own voices across—no matter how discordant they are. When you listen to the song and read its lyrics, you will understand why Agnes Chow recalled this song when she was arrested. So it is the time to enjoy this song: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b0qb4RoS8U

Each of these three songs represents some values that hold a special place in my heart: story and history; youth and dreams, and voice and identity. Each time these songs are played, they serve as precious reminders of what makes our lives meaningful and worthwhile. Our individuality that is made up of our history, dreams and voice is what we should never lose, and what we should continue to hold on to. 

Site to learn Japanese through Japanese songs 

If you want to learn Japanese by listening to Japanese songs, https://www.jpmarumaru.com/tw/index.asp is a site that I’d like to recommend. For the three songs I shared here, you can find the original Japanese lyrics and Chinese translation. 

大きな古時計 

https://www.jpmarumaru.com/tw/JPSongPlay-15842.html

手紙 〜拝啓 十五の君へ〜 

https://www.jpmarumaru.com/tw/JPSongPlay-544.html

不協和音 

https://www.jpmarumaru.com/tw/JPSongPlay-9662.html

Journey into the Past by Stefan Zweig

Chess Story, the last work written by Austrian writer Stefan Zweig (1881–1942), is one of the most memorable read I have had in recent years. I have almost no knowledge of the rules and strategies of chess. Still, the rivalry between the world chess champion and self-taught master, and the ultimate mind game between them, remains gripping and impactful to me that a story of this length could hardly achieve. This captivating experience has stayed with me ever since I read the first sentence of the novel. Storyline of the novel is certainly enticing. But after all, what truly sets Zweig apart from other writers is his unparalleled ability in offering psychological insight that penetrates deeply into the human mind with his clear, lucid and crystalline prose. 

All these signature elements of Zweig’s works could be found in his other masterpiece—Journey into the Past, a novella posthumously discovered after he committed suicide during his exile from Europe to Brazil with his wife. It is a story about the male protagonist Ludwig, who has worked his way up through hard work and determination to personal success, and during which developed an unlikely affair with his employer’s wife. Yet destiny took Ludwig to Mexico for two years, only to be prolonged by the outbreak of the First World War, a war that changed, and oftentimes destroyed, the peaceful lives of many, including that of Ludwig. This story is a poignant examination of what time and the sudden changes in circumstances can derail our lives. 

The story begins with an upbeat and hopeful tone when Ludwig and his former lover meet at the train station in Frankfurt. They have waited for nine years for that moment. When time has made them more cautious about their reunion, they couldn’t help showing their desires for each other as they long for their train journey and the things they would do together after they arrive at the destination. After nine years of separation, they are eager to pick up what they have left behind in the past. Unfortunately, they are constantly disturbed by boarding passengers. Left with no choice, they drift into their reveries during the journey. Readers are constantly taken into their past by many beautifully, skillfully crafted transitional passages. One of these is as follows: 

“With a slight jolt, the train began to move. The rattling of the wheels drowned out the legal conversation, muting it to mere noise. But then, gradually, the jolting and rattling turned to a rhythmic swaying, like a steel cradle rocking the couple into dreams. And while the rattling wheels invisible to them rolled onward, into a future that each of them imagined differently, the thoughts of both returned in reverie to the past.” 

As the novel progresses, the story before their reunion unfolds. Coming from an impoverished background, Ludwig is a highly promising and hardworking apprentice new to the house of Dr. G, a famous industrialist in town. Determined to succeed, he gives unrelenting focus and effort to his work and is highly appreciated by his boss. His life has been made even more agreeable by the attentive care given by his employer’s wife, who caters to his needs with meticulous details, and gradually they develop a mutual affection for each other. But the affair is almost nipped in the bud when Ludwig’s boss finds that his deteriorating physical condition no longer allows him to take care of his business and he needs to send a competent staff like Ludwig to manage a new project in Mexico. The new responsibility would take Ludwig away from his lover for two years. What follows is the explosive development of their passionate encounters and before things go too far, the woman made a promise to Ludwig that: 

“I couldn’t do it here, in my own house, in his own house. But when you come back, yes, whenever you like.” 

Coincided with the outbreak of the First World War, the intervening nine years that separate them were certainly too long to both of them. In the years of separation, they experienced tremendous life changes: Ludwig is married with two children and is now a capable manager in his own name. His boss has passed away shortly after Ludwig’s departure, leaving his wife to face hardship alone during the war. She has survived the war with her child safely amidst defeat of her country. They corresponded shortly after Ludwig arrived in Mexico, but after some time the woman stopped writing letters to Ludwig. As he devoted himself to work as a way to cope with the disappointments, his feelings for her gradually faded as time went by: 

“Yet all the same, while he thought his feelings were unchanged, his passionate inner tension gradually relaxed. It is not in human nature to live entirely on memories, and just as the plants and every living structure need nourishment from the soil and the new light from the sky, if their colours are not to fade and their petals to drop, even such apparently unearthly things as dreams need a certain amount if nourishment from the senses, some tender pictorial aid, or their blood will run thin and their radiance be dimmed. And so it was with this passionate man before he even noticed it.” 

The story ends as the long-separated one-time lovers finally reunite, which leaves readers with much room for imagination. It is worth noting that after they arrive in Heidelberg, the shadow of World War Two is already looming large as the youth Nazi armies are everywhere on the streets, chanting war songs in high spirit. As a pacifist and a symbol of the multi-racial European culture, Zweig has cast a nostalgic look to the world destroyed by the First World War in his emotionally charged memoir The World of Yesterday. The sense of helplessness, fear and resentment Ludwig experienced in Heidelberg perhaps corresponds well with that of Zweig at the time of writing this novella. 

When I read this book, most of the time I am not aware that I am actually reading a translation, thanks to the masterful rendition done by the renowned translator Anthea Bell. In her highly informative Afterword, she notes that “Zweig’s meticulous but at the same time condensed style makes him a challenge to translate, although an enjoyable challenge. You read him in the original, and on the surface everything is limpid, lucid; then you start translating him, and you have to think hard about what exactly lies below the wording of every sentence.” 

Like Zweig’s time in the 1920s, the world in 2020s is being altered at an unprecedented pace as advanced technology, the coronavirus pandemic and ceaseless international disputes are disrupting and transforming the way we live in unimagined and profound ways. In this age of extreme uncertainties, we all crave for things that remain unchanged, that can give us the bearings to orientate our lives. For many people like me, rereading timeless classics like Journey into the Past is one of the most reliable ways to meet comfort and solace again—which sometimes are losing so rapidly that one can only find through a journey into the past.

飄進回憶深處的書香

近日搬進昇悅居，該處會所有一大德政，就是設有漂書廊。我每次看完的書籍放進去，沒多久便給「漂」走。我常常在那兒碰到意外驚喜，找到感興趣的，自然不客氣了。 

縱然那漂書廊只有兩個小書架，但書籍流轉迅速，促成互不相識的書友隔空交流，「書書相惜」。我曾提議管理處，為漂書廊起個更文雅的名字：昇閱居，即提昇閱讀水平之居所，借諧音、屋苑名稱及字義，來個文字遊戲。 

「漂書」始祖

其實我也是在漂書中長大，從小享受另類「漂書」之便。 

媽媽任職志願機構的圖書館管理員。小學暑假，我經常跟媽媽上班。媽媽工作時，我便下棋及看書。70年代的社會風氣較寬鬆、少規範，媽媽不時把圖書館新增書籍及雜誌，先「漂」進家中幾天，我和弟妹遂先讀為快，近「書」樓台先得「閱」！為了儘快把書「漂」回圖書館，供其他讀者使用，我們無形中養成了速讀的習慣。 

我在這特殊的漂書氛圍下，接觸了《學生時代》、《電影雙周刋》及《70年代》等雜誌，還讀畢大部分金庸的武俠小說，以及《愛的教育》、《三國演義》、《水滸傳》和《西遊記》等名著。媽媽顯然違規，但我卻獲益良多，不但開啟了我的書海之旅，塑造今天愛讀的我。少年時我曾夢想當圖書館管理員，因能借工作之便，與書本為伍。 

角色衝突

90年代中期我在政府任職，負責調查違規公務員。某圖書館職員擅自借出過量的圖書，為的就是給子女閱讀。我處理這個案時非常感觸，禁不住幽幽的向上司透露：「我就是在這種環境下成長，被告的違規動機，我是最明白不過。」簽署懲處信時，我有點覺得自己像在懲罰媽媽，不禁黯然！ 

從圖書館到書城 

媽媽退休後仍閱讀不綴，常常在附近的書局見到她的身影。2008年9月，她申請了回鄉證，為讓她一開『書界』，我帶她前往深圳少年宮書城作一天遊，更買下她心愛的《冰心文集》送她。可惜那次書城之旅是媽媽第一次、也是最後一次使用那張回鄉證，因為一年後媽媽癌症復發，不久便離開了…… 

想不到，多年後的今天，在新居會所的漂書廊，竟然再次飄來當年媽媽「漂」書給我的那陣淡淡的書香，飄啊，飄啊，飄進我的回憶、我的夢裏。 

彷彿在那漂書廊能再次與媽媽書魂相遇……

A Little History of Philosophy 一本談智慧的小書

A Little History of Philosophy 是耶魯大學出版社的Little Histories 系列第三本，一如A Little History of the World一樣，全書共分40章，由公元前400年蘇格拉底、柏拉圖及亞里士多德三師徒開始談起，最後一章由仍活躍於學術界及社運界的Peter Singer作結。大部分章節都介紹一位哲學家和其思想，個別數章則介紹數位哲學家和與相關的一個哲學命題。本書作者Nigel Warburton是英國哲學家，他寫過多本普及哲學的通俗書。與Little Histories 系列其他書一樣，A Little History of Philosophy遣詞用字淺白，是認識哲學史，哲學家思想的上佳入門書。 

嚴格來說，入選本書的51位人物並非全是哲學家，例如第25章的達爾文是生物學家、第27章的馬克思是社會革命家、第30章的佛洛伊德是名震一時的精神分析學家，相信因為他們的學說對人類思想帶來深刻影響，所以作者經精挑細選後把他們包括在內。廣義來說，這幾位思想家提出針對人類本相、社會本質的看法，回應了哲學尋找本質的初衷，入選本書絕對合情合理。 

愛好(philo)及智慧(sophia)

Philosophy由愛好(philo)及智慧(sophia) 兩個希臘文詞語組成，即是愛智慧的學問，philosopher就是指愛智慧的人。對本書首個登場人物蘇格拉底來說，智慧並非掌握很多事實，或者懂得某些技能，而是明白人生存的本質。哲學就是尋根究底，事事追求本質的學問。 

蘇格拉底在西方社會家傳戶曉，雖然他並非希臘第一位哲學家，早在他之前就有希臘七賢，但與他之前的自然哲學家愛談如事物由甚麼構成、從何而來、如何描述自然等不同，蘇格拉底把哲學帶入人群，親身到市集跟人辯論甚麼是誠實、勇氣、公義等問題。他認為大部分人並不知道自己說話的含意，他雖然不着書立說，卻喜愛通過問答來弄清概念和信念。例如，很多人認為說謊並不道德，蘇格拉底會問：若你有一位朋友想自尋短見，為了救他一命，你說謊騙走他用來自殺的刀，這又是否不道德？ 

西方哲學源自古希臘，本書首部分介紹的都是古希臘的哲學家，包括蘇格拉底、柏拉圖及亞里士多德三師徒，以及Pyrrho、Epicurus、Epictetus、Cicero及Seneca。繼希臘哲學家後出場的是4世紀的奧古斯丁(Augustine)，以及5世紀的波愛修斯(Boethius)、11世紀的安瑟莫(Anselm)及阿奎那(Aquinas)這幾位基督教神學家。歐洲於4世紀開始基督教化，中古世紀的哲學討論都圍繞着如何證明神存在、神的全能與人的自由間有沒有衝突等問題，直至15世紀文藝復興興起帶來重讀古希臘經典的風氣，17世紀啟蒙運動的出現，高舉人的理性能力，哲學探討的範圍才越來越闊，亦開始在討論人與神的關係外，留意人和群體的關係，人如何活得快樂等命題，重返希臘三哲所建立的人間關懷。 

社會契約論三位靈魂人物

進入17世紀，第一位登場的是《巨靈論》的作者霍布斯(Thomas Hobbes)，本書亦有介紹另外兩位推動社會契約論的靈魂人物，有現代自由主義之父之稱的英國哲學家洛克(John Locke)及法國思想家盧梭(Jean-Jacques Rousseau)的想法。西方哲學家自古希臘開始就思考人和社會間的關係，從洛克相信神賦予人生存、追求自由及快樂，擁有財富的權利，以及盧梭的名言「人生而自由，卻無處不生活在枷鎖中」，都能看到西方傳統對人類享有自由的肯定。但人踏入社會的一刻就無可避免地要活在各種規範中，政治哲學在西方哲學傳統一直佔一席位，要討論的就是管治者和被管治者間的關係，政府如何取得統治人民的合法地位這些問題。 

17世紀出現的牛頓物理學大大增加人類理解自然的能力，令人對人的理性抱前所未有的信心，開啟了近代歐洲思想史上最重要的啟蒙運動。啟蒙運動綿延17，18兩個世紀，18世紀更被稱為是「卓越哲學世紀(century of philosophy par excellence)」，多位啟蒙運動的核心人物，包括霍布斯，提出「我思故我在」的笛卡兒、靠磨鏡片為生的史賓諾沙，數學同樣出色的萊布尼茨等多位17世紀哲學家，以及法國的伏爾泰，蘇格蘭懷疑論者大衛‧休姆，德國大哲康德(Immanuel Kant)等18世紀哲學家的思想都有收錄在本書中。其中，康德更是唯一一位作者用兩章來介紹的哲學家。 

西方哲學於19世紀末開始出現一場名為「語言轉向」(linguistic turn) 的運動。英國一代哲學泰斗羅素(Bertrand Russell)、艾耶爾(A. J. Ayer)及德國天才哲學家維根斯坦(Ludwig Wittgenstein)對語言以及邏輯推理有深刻的反醒，在哲學界揭起一場名為邏輯實證主義的運動。奧地利出生的猶太裔科學哲學家波普爾(Karl Popper)，美國學者孔恩(Thomas Kuhn)對科學重新定義，認為科學並非如數學般純靠推理的學問，而是一種靠歸納建立的知識體系，科學之所以為科學，是因為科學定律有被推翻的可能，而科學的突變則是因為，科學觀察出現了大量現存科學典範不能解釋的例子，最終令科學家捨棄舊典範而建立新典範。這數位哲學家的思想都收錄在本書的最後一部份。 

哲學是要改變世界

在51位本書介紹的哲學家中，筆者對當中數位的思想特別感興趣，其中一位就是卡爾‧馬克思。馬克思一生潦倒，曾在柏林、巴黎、布魯塞爾、科隆生活，數度搬家後最後選擇在倫敦定居，但生活仍擺脫不了貧困。工業革命在19世紀英國誕生後，英國便手執世界工業牛耳，但工人的工作環境極之惡劣，除了工時長、性質沉悶、工作環境缺乏安全設施外，工作不斷細分令工人變成生產過程的小螞蟻，資本家卻因着機械化生產加上資本主義的貿易制度而能夠積累巨額財富。 

馬克思移居英國，近距離觀察資本主義最醜陋的一面，他在倫敦時經常去大英博物館閱讀，他指出，工業化生產令工人異化，生產節奏主導了工人的生命，工人無法活得像一個人。馬克斯與他的好友恩格斯(Engels)於1848年寫的《共產主義宣言》，裡面寫著一句「全世界無產階級，聯合起來！你們在這場個革命中失去的只是枷鎖！(Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!)」，不但與百年前盧梭「人生而自由」的名言遙遙呼應，更正式揭起一場波譎雲詭的社會主義運動。他曾經說，以往的哲學家只是描述世界，但更重要的是如何改變世界。馬克思推動的共產主義思潮，帶來的衝擊遍及全人類，影響所及歷兩個世紀而不止息，相信是這句說話的最佳註釋。 

另一位筆者想稍作介紹的是漢娜‧萼蘭(Hannah Arendt)，全書介紹的51位哲學家，只有萼蘭、法國存在主義哲學家西蒙波娃和美國倫理學家Judith Jarvis Thomson是女性。萼蘭於1906年出生於德國，是一名猶太裔哲學家。她曾因為研究反錫安主義而於二戰前被納粹政權被捕入獄。萼蘭以探討權力和邪惡的本質、權威和極權主義而著稱。介紹萼蘭的一章以她參加納粹戰犯阿道夫‧艾希曼(Adolf Eichmann)的審判為引子。這名精準地執行由上級下達的指令，將猶太人有效率地運往集中營的人物在法庭的自辯，讓萼蘭思考普通人如何成為極權政權的一部份，令她想起邪惡的平庸一面(the banality of evil)。 

絕對指令 VS 效益主義

本書並非按知識論、形以上學、倫理學、宗教哲學、美學等哲學的門類來寫，而是以哲學家來貫穿。哲學家的想法有的如馬克思和萼蘭般針對時弊，令人較易投入。但不少哲學家的思想都是艱深難明的，看這本書的其中一個好處是，讓人一次過了解數十位哲學家思想的核心部份，以及之間的分別。 

例如，從本書得知18世紀德國大哲康德講的道德規條是絕對指令(categorical imperative)，意思是，應該遁行道德法則與否，不應受執行後引致的結果而影響。這點與英國思想家邊沁(Jeremy Bentham)和米爾(John Stuart Mill)的效益主義大相徑庭。英國效益主義強調道德行為達致的效果才是最重要的考慮因素：It is the greatest happiness of the greatest number that is the measure of right and wrong，邊沁這句說話成為效應主義最簡單有力的原則。又例如，沙特、西蒙波娃和卡膠代表的存在主義，有別於傳統基督教相信人是神的創造，一生就是完成神給人的使命。存在主義哲學相信存在先於本質，人的生存沒有既定的目的，所謂目的和意義，一切都是由我們的選擇來決定。 

康德是小鎮居民的時鐘

除解釋哲學家的思想外，本書作者亦花了一些筆墨來介紹哲學家的生平和生活。例如，一生從未離開過他誕生小鎮哥尼斯堡(Königsberg)的康德是一位生活刻板的人，每日早上5點起床、寫作、教書，到下午4:30就會圍繞着小鎮漫步8次，由於步速穩定不變，小鎮居民見到他經過自己家門，就知道當日已經到了甚麼時間。 

用一本只有200多頁的書來介紹51位在西方世界最具影響力的哲學家的生平和想法並不是一件易事，他們當中任何一位的一個觀點都能夠成為一篇博士論文的題目，本書只是為喜愛哲學的人提供一個起點。很多人都覺得哲學艱澀難懂，對實際生活遇到的問題沒有幫助，改變不了人生的處境。但哲學其實並不離地，柏拉圖的徒弟亞里士多德認為快樂是人生最重要的追求，但他講的快樂並不是現代人喜愛的，如在一個豪華餐廳吃頓晚飯，在高級度假村參加派對，他認為這些都只會帶給人短暫的享樂。 

亞里士多德有一句名言：One swallow doesn’t make a summer，他借此來比喻，人是否得到真正快樂，要用更長的時間來量度。他認為培育我們獲得快樂的品性（或美德），能增加我們得到長久快樂的機會。所以讓自己成為更好的人，做正確的事才是獲得快樂的秘訣。他同時覺得人是政治的動物，人是在社會中追求快樂的，所以我們需要一套尋求公義的制度以應付人的黑暗面，快樂才會得到保障。 

寧願做不快樂的蘇格拉底

米爾說，與其做快樂的蠢材，不如做不快樂的蘇格拉底(It would be better to be a dissatisfied Socrates than a satisfied fool)。蘇格拉底自己則說，牛馬可以活一個未經思考過的人生，人卻不可以(An unexamined existence is all right for cattle, but not for human beings)。傳說蘇格拉底的朋友Chaerophon曾向Delphi阿波羅神廟的神司問，誰是希臘最有智慧的人。神司回答，沒有人比蘇格拉底更有智慧。蘇格拉底所以如此有智慧，因為他愛不斷提問，並且他總是願意跟別人討論自己的想法。 

本書提到，蘇格拉底不但不斷挑戰別人既有想法，還鼓勵雅典的年青人要學他一樣多提問，多辯論。雅典當權者覺得蘇格拉底的哲學活動鼓動年青人不服從權威，不信諸神，制造社會不安，遂對他施行審判，結果是判他死刑。蘇格拉底對自己的好問好辯沒半點後悔。傳說中，當70歲的蘇格拉底飲毒芹時，神情泰然，反而是他的徒弟和朋友感到哀傷。 

由希臘三哲開始，西方哲學都有著一種找出真相、追求本質的批判傳統，這種傳統更支持着西方學術的發展。在今日是非不分，黑白顛倒的年代，盡力思考，尋找事物的本質和真相越來越變得沉重，但人到底只可活一次，我們不值得為未經思考的人生而活，更不應該在虛假的世界中度日。要做到良好思考，訓練邏輯思維，不接受主流社會給予的簡單答案，不輕易受掌權者的宣傳所左右，凡事不預設思想框框，尋根究底，多問多想多討論，這些都是鍛鍊敏銳思考的不二法門。